


sight seven

by kiholove



Series: seven sights [7]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 02:42:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12122784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiholove/pseuds/kiholove
Summary: Changkyun sees it when he really shouldn't be looking.





	sight seven

Changkyun has no idea how it even started or what it's even about. All afternoon, he's simply been sitting comfortably on the couch, messing around on his phone, and enjoying the peace and quiet of a nearly empty dorm. Jooheon, Minhyuk, Hyunwoo, and Hyungwon are all out at individual schedules while Kihyun and Hoseok had gone off some time ago to one of the bedrooms together, and Changkyun isn't one to poke his nose into others' business (that's always more of a Minhyuk thing to do) and so, with their door closed and their voices too quiet to hear, it's been more or less like he has the dorm all to himself for a change. 

As much as he loves his bandmates, Changkyun has always been a rather introverted individual, and so cherishes any and all opportunities for some alone time to recharge his batteries, even if he spends it doing absolutely nothing. As an idol, alone time is especially precious, a wonderful, rare gift that can only be fully appreciated by being as unproductive and as lazy as possible. 

And Changkyun is certainly up to the task, currently in the most nonproductive, lazy state he could come up with. He's bundled up in one of the group's throw blankets, wrapped around his shoulders and covering him up from head to toe so that only his hands are free, mindlessly fooling around on his phone, happy and at full liberty to relax like he has all the time in the world, no rush and no obligation to do anything at all. Later on, he's planning to take an afternoon nap, just for the heck of it, then maybe watch some TV, or a nice movie. Maybe he'll read a book, even. He had always been a bookworm growing up, but since becoming an idol, he hasn't had the time nor the energy to read very much, and there's a lot he'd like to catch up on. 

Changkyun feels like he's sacrificed a lot, given up on a lot of those kinds of small, simple pleasures in order to live out his life and make his dreams come true. Even beyond his time as an idol in these past couple of years, Changkyun sometimes feels like his whole life has been one nonstop conveyer belt, and he hasn't had much time to just stop and take everything in. His exciting, eventful life has taken him all over the place, from living in Israel, to living in the United States, to moving back to Korea and training as an idol, to debuting into a popular group and traveling all over the world to perform. He's so thankful for all of the wonderful experiences he's gotten to have, considers himself so blessed for all of the adventures and the full life he's already led at his young age, but sometimes, he'd love to just stop, go nowhere, do nothing, just exist as one tiny, floating speck of dust in the universe. Changkyun often has to hold back from allowing himself to get lost in such existential thoughts, because he normally just doesn't have the time for it, but with a day like today he's free to get as philosophical as he wants to. 

Even now, Kihyun and Hoseok are still off in their own little world. They had closed the door to the bedroom and have been in there for about thirty minutes now, so quiet that Changkyun had nearly forgotten that they were home too. He thinks that they must have fallen asleep, or maybe...maybe they're doing something else together. He feels himself going a little warm at that thought. It's still strange to him, having an open couple in the group, and he thinks it best not to speculate too much about what they could be doing together, thinks it best to give them their privacy and not treat them any differently even though the whole group now knows that they're together. 

But as much as Changkyun has been trying to mind his own business (now playing an educational children's game on his phone, totally absorbed into the cute characters and innocent storyline) he can't help but notice that Kihyun and Hoseok's talking has gotten a little louder in the past couple of minutes, to the point that he can actually begin to make out their different voices, though he still can't tell what exactly they're saying to each other. What he can pick up on, however, is the strange, irritated edge to their conversation. 

Changkyun realizes with a start that they must be having an argument of some kind, and he's not really sure how he feels about that. It seems a bizarre, almost impossible scenario, Kihyun and Hoseok fighting with each other, but Changkyun can't deny what his senses are telling him. He still can't quite make out what they're saying, but he knows an argument when he hears one; he can tell from the tones, the pitch, the fluctuation in volume and the tense pauses in their sentences, the sharp bite to their words. 

Changkyun wonders what could possibly be going on in there. He's rarely heard either of them raise their voice, not seriously, and especially not at each other. Kihyun and Hoseok fit so well together, are so smitten with each other and understand each other so well, sometimes it feels like they share one mind. And when they do have arguments, they're usually quick, usually cute little married-couple type bickering more than anything else, and usually over within minutes. 

But this, this feels different. It feels serious, and Changkyun grows uneasy as he notices their voices getting louder and more forceful, and now he can even make out a few actual words. He's never heard them speak like this to each other before, and he briefly wonders if he should intervene. After all, it was always their group's policy that, whenever an argument broke out, an impartial third party would help to resolve it. But wasn't a fight between the two of them considered a lovers' quarrel? Shouldn't he let them work it out on their own? Surely this wasn't their first fight after all of their years of friendship, and they'd be able to resolve it themselves, right? Changkyun's mind spins with a whirlwind of thoughts as his desire to give them privacy conflicts with what he feels is his obligation as their bandmate to help them resolve their problem. 

He sits there, frozen, unsure what to do, his hands going still, and the game from his phone beeps loudly, angrily at him as the time runs out and he loses the round from inactivity; it seems like even the game is yelling at him and his failure to help his friends. 

Suddenly, the door of the bedroom is flung open, and Kihyun storms out with a red face, his cheeks puffed up and his eyebrows furrowed in anger. Changkyun is startled to see that his eyes are visibly wet even from a distance, shining with what must be barely-restrained tears as he stomps in fury towards the other bedroom, pulls open the door, rushes inside, and slams the door loudly behind himself with all of his might. 

The silence that follows is thick, intense, and charged with a million different emotions that are completely palpable, hanging there like a thick smog in the air. Changkyun has no idea what to do, his chest burning with concern for his friends. Should he ignore that, pretend like that hadn't just happened? Should he go check on Kihyun? On Hoseok? Changkyun has never really been great at dealing with emotional things, especially fights, and he feels pretty useless, pretty awkward right now. He holds his breath, his whole body completely still, his ears open and listening for any sign of activity from either of his bandmates. 

A few tense moments pass, and then Hoseok finally emerges from the bedroom, slowly, timidly. His head hangs down, his hair covering his eyes, and his hands are stuffed into the front pocket of his hoodie. His face looks paler than usual, and his lip quivers slightly, his footsteps soft and spiritless, his back slightly bent over in a withdrawn posture as he walks into the living room. He doesn't even seem to notice that Changkyun is already sitting there, or, if he does, he doesn't make any sort of acknowledgement. He walks like he's wading through water, his movements sluggish, weak, defeated, and Changkyun feels upset just looking at him, almost like he's experiencing secondhand heartbreak. 

As Changkyun watches him with wide eyes, Changkyun's mouth opening and closing slightly as he tries to find words, any words, Hoseok sits down carefully on the opposite side of the couch. He starts to fold into himself, brings his feet up onto the cushion and curls up in a little ball, wrapping his arms around his bent legs. He just sits there, breathing, staring off into space. Changkyun doesn't move an inch; he feels like he's watching a skittish animal that might bolt if he makes any sudden movements. 

And then, like shattering glass, Hoseok lets out a loud, broken sob, and presses his face down into his knees, his expression crumpling as he begins to weep, messy and uncontained. Within seconds, there's water spilling down his cheeks, dripping down onto his lap and onto the cushion around him. He starts to sound almost hysterical as he cries, his whole body trembling, and his back rises and falls with the heavy effort of each shaking breath. 

Changkyun just keeps sitting there and watching, paralyzed with worry and confusion, because he wants to help, he truly does, but this is really, _really_ not his forte, dealing with upset members. He knows that Kihyun is the type to want to be alone when he's upset, to calm himself down away from anyone else's eyes, so there's not much he can do there but grant Kihyun his privacy. But Hoseok, Hoseok likes to vent, _needs_ to vent, needs to get his intense feelings physically out of his body and out into the air in order to calm down and sort out his thoughts. And the person he'll usually vent to, well, that person is the source of his anguish at the moment. 

Even so, Changkyun thinks he's probably got a responsibility to try his best to help his hyung, right? It's the least he can do for all of the things Hoseok has done for him. Moreover, he absolutely hates seeing Kihyun and Hoseok fight with each other like this. It almost seems to go against nature, as dramatic as it sounds. 

"H-hyung," Changkyun starts, carefully, so carefully. He doesn't move from his spot on the other side of the couch, but he puts his phone down onto the table in front of him to show Hoseok that he's giving him his full attention, and he turns in his seat to face him. 

Hoseok just keeps crying and crying and crying like a broken faucet, and it's odd, seeing his big, strong, cheerful hyung like this, fragile and vulnerable with all of his grief pouring out at once. Changkyun knows that Hoseok doesn't ever want to be pitied under any circumstances, but when he's upset, he always finds solace in an open ear, a metaphoric shoulder to cry on (or a literal one), and a comforting touch. And in this type of situation, those would all be Kihyun duties, calming him down, comforting him with sweet words and sweet touches, and Changkyun's not sure if he's an acceptable substitute, if it's even his place to try to be. 

"Hyung," Changkyun repeats, a little more firmly, "is everything okay? Do...do you want to talk about it?" 

Changkyun gets up then, blanket still wrapped around his shoulders like a cape, and goes to sit down next to Hoseok on the couch, moving gently and cautiously. He sits down onto the cushion beside Hoseok and lifts a hand to rest on Hoseok's broad, muscular back, and now that he can actually feel the tremors of Hoseok's body, his stomach drops, and he feels cold, he feels sick at seeing his hyung so upset. Still, he calmly keeps his hand there, unmoving, a solid support so that Hoseok knows that he's right there for him in that moment and that he's not going anywhere. 

Hoseok hiccups, and lifts his head from his knees, but he still won't look Changkyun in the eye. His own eyes are wet, red, and puffy, and he wipes at them with the backs of his hands, sniffling and trying to hold in some of the tears, but he just can't stop, and so, eventually gives up, curling forward to rest his chin on his knees, tears flowing freely down his cheeks as he speaks in a thick, watery voice. 

"Kihyunnie is so... _stubborn_ sometimes," he says to Changkyun, quietly, no strength to his words. "I just want to help him and he gets so defensive." 

Changkyun doesn't really know what to say, so he just rubs Hoseok's back gently, letting Hoseok know that he's still there and listening as Hoseok stares at a spot on the wall, looking right at it but not really seeing anything. 

"I just want to help him," Hoseok repeats, his voice shaking. "I love him, you know?" 

Hoseok pauses and finally turns to look at Changkyun, right into Changkyun's eyes and Changkyun can't help his sharp intake of breath, both at the heartfelt confession and the look on Hoseok's face, the emotions churning in his eyes. There's concern, frustration, distress, regret, but most of all, there's so much love, there really is so much, and so much care, devotion, tenderness. It's like Hoseok's heart is wide open and bleeding out through his gaze. 

Changkyun isn't used to this, doesn't know how to deal with it. He and Hoseok are good friends, they're _all_ good friends with each other, but Hoseok has never before been so open with him. He feels like he's seeing a completely different side of his hyung, like his hyung is completely revealed for the first time since they've known each other. And Changkyun feels strange about it, what it means, but he thinks he might understand. 

This is Hoseok in love, so completely and overwhelmingly in love, and so scared, scared that he might've ruined everything. 

And suddenly, like flipping on a switch, Changkyun know exactly the right thing to say. 

"He loves you too," Changkyun murmurs, continuing to rub Hoseok's back and not breaking eye contact, looking at him with assurance and a tiny, soft smile. "You know that. You know that one-hundred percent, and you don't need me to remind you." 

Hoseok's still crying, the tears flowing steadily even as he goes still and looks back at Changkyun, his lips parting slightly in surprise. But his gaze is warm, appreciative, and he's almost, _almost_ able to smile. 

"And he knows you love him," Changkyun continues, "he knows, one-hundred percent. So don't worry. It'll all be okay." 

Hoseok goes silent again, his eyes wide, and there's a pause, a moment of stillness between them, and Changkyun feels like he can see right into Hoseok's soul at that moment, he's so raw and so completely exposed. 

"Changkyun," he says, faintly, but Changkyun just shakes his head before Hoseok can continue. 

"Just wait," Changkyun says, patting Hoseok's back one last time. He then stands up and returns to his original spot on the couch, once again wrapping himself up tightly in his blanket as he picks up his phone from the table and resumes his game from before, the colorful characters greeting him happily and the cheerful music starting up again. Hoseok is still looking at him in awe and Changkyun smiles once more, glancing at Hoseok and speaking from his heart. 

"You know he'll always come back to you," Changkyun says. 

He's not sure where that sudden burst of sentimentality came from. Changkyun never thought he had it in him to say something so mushy, but he's glad to have said it, because just like that, the cloud of grief is lifted from the room. Hoseok takes a deep breath, and he actually smiles this time, his eyes still wet but with a different kind of feeling, and he nods in gratitude as Changkyun returns his attention to his game. 

Hoseok rests his chin on his knees again, arms wrapping around his legs tighter, and he looks back off into space, at nothing in particular, slipping deep into thought, looking a lot more relieved, hopeful. He still sniffles and his eyes are still wet, but the tension is gone from his body, and Changkyun understands now what it was he needed. He didn't need to be reassured about Kihyun, he needed to be reassured about _himself_ , that what he knows and feels and trusts in his heart is true and unshakable. Hoseok's eyes are twinkling now with something nice, and Changkyun knows without asking that he's thinking about Kihyun. Changkyun knows that everything will be just fine, and that Hoseok knows that now too. 

The room goes quiet again, Kihyun still locked away in the bedroom and Hoseok sitting silently on the other side of the couch. Changkyun feels good, feels like he really did something to help and now all that's left to do is to keep Hoseok company while Kihyun calms down enough to approach Hoseok himself, as Changkyun is sure he will. Changkyun puts his phone on the table again and lies down on his side for his coveted afternoon nap, wrapping his blanket up over his head so that he's in a sort of blanket cocoon, only his face visible so that he can breathe. He closes his eyes, lingers on the edge of dozing off for a while as his body relaxes, melts into his blanket cocoon and into the couch cushions. 

Just as Changkyun is about to drift off for real, he hears the sound of the bedroom door opening, slowly, apprehensively, a small squeak of wood on hinges, and shy, nervous footsteps walking towards the living room. Hoseok hears it too, and he lifts his head at the sound, looking towards the hallway with determined eyes. Changkyun curls further into his cocoon and pretends to be asleep, his eyes only open just barely enough to see directly in front of him into the center of the living room. 

In steps Kihyun, his eyes red and puffy from crying, a perfect match to Hoseok's, and his cheeks flushed in blotches of vibrant red. He looks exhausted, completely wrung out, and all of that anger that Changkyun had seen in his eyes before is gone. Now, he just looks lost, scared, like a small, frightened child, absentmindedly playing with his hands in front of him. Changkyun suddenly realizes how frail Kihyun looks, how thin he's gotten since they debuted, almost like he's being crushed under the weight of the world. 

He stops in the center of the living room, right in Changkyun's line of vision, and locks eyes with Hoseok, who stands up immediately and looks right back at him, his lips parting into a soft, heart shape and his eyes wide and bright. They just look at each other for a few seemingly endless moments, and from his little blanket cocoon Changkyun watches this all unfolding, feeling increasingly like he's witnessing something private. Obviously, they think he's asleep, but he also gets the feeling they may have completely forgotten he's even there, or even in the same building, or even on the same planet. 

There's a beat of silence, and then, Kihyun is rushing into Hoseok's arms, the two of them meeting each other in the middle and embracing tightly. Kihyun throws his arms around Hoseok's shoulders and buries his face into Hoseok's neck, letting out a noise that sounds somewhere between a whimper and a sob. Changkyun can't see Kihyun's face from this angle, but he can see Hoseok's, and Hoseok is crying again, though this time, the tears come still and silently. They're happy tears, _relieved_ tears as he holds Kihyun close, running his large hands up and down Kihyun's back while Kihyun shakes with sobs and sniffles through his own fresh wave of tears. 

This is not the first time Changkyun has witnessed such an emotional moment between these two; there was, of course, the now famous incident that occurred after their concert in Seoul, in which they had embraced each other, much like this, right in the middle of the concert after-party, though the feeling had been quite a bit different. Back then, the emotions that they had experienced together were something like a mix of pride, nostalgia, and pure happiness at seeing through their accomplishments together. Now, the feeling is something more like relief, a reassurance of their mutual devotion, trust, and deep, deep affection for each other. 

Changkyun had thought it so wild and so unexpected then, to see not only Hoseok but Kihyun in such a fragile state, but now he realizes that it all makes perfect sense, that these kinds of moments are perfectly natural to expect between the two of them, no matter the context. 

To everyone else, Kihyun is known for being serious, proud, reserved in his emotions. But Changkyun remembers long ago when Hoseok had talked about how Kihyun was really the "baby" of their group, and that Kihyun enjoyed being taken care of and tenderly loved. They had all thought it was weird back then, that Hoseok was joking just to embarrass Kihyun, but now, Changkyun gets it, he totally gets it. Kihyun feels a lot of pressure as the group's main vocalist; many expectations, responsibilities, and obligations fall onto him, but he also has his own personal ambition, a need to be respected and appreciated for his talents despite his diminutive appearance and what's undoubtedly an unassuming first impression to all who meet him. With that kind of personality, and those kinds of feelings, it's hard for a person like Kihyun to ever openly show any kind of weakness, for he must always overcompensate so that people will see beyond any preconceived notions and give him his fair chance, and in Hoseok, Kihyun has found someone that he can allow himself to be freely vulnerable with, someone who will love him and care for him in the way that he craves even in his weakest moments. 

And Hoseok, well, they all frequently enjoy teasing him for being so sensitive, for being the group's resident crybaby and scaredy cat despite his intimidating and masculine appearance, but the truth is, Hoseok is not anywhere near as fragile nor as delicate as he appears. In truth, Hoseok is a born leader and protector, compassionate and devoted and courageous even in the toughest situations. The fact that he is emotional doesn't mean that he's not also strong, doesn't mean that he doesn't desire to protect and to care for those who are important to him. Sensitivity and strength are not mutually exclusive, as Changkyun has come to learn from Hoseok, and in fact, Hoseok's sentimentality is part of what makes him the perfect guardian, _Kihyun's_ perfect guardian, because he understands what it's like to be afraid, to be vulnerable and scared and in need of care, and how to overcome those feelings to care for someone else. In Kihyun, Hoseok has found someone whom he loves enough to be brave and to be strong for, to protect and to watch over and to love unconditionally. 

Kihyun and Hoseok stay right where they are, holding each other so tightly, pressed together so close and crying into each other's arms for a long, long time, and Changkyun wonders for a moment if they might stay like that all night. It seems that the two of them are always full of surprises when they're together, always surprising everyone's expectations, and so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch at this point, Changkyun thinks. 

But, just when Changkyun begins to seriously consider allowing himself to doze off and miss out on the end of this emotional moment, they finally unwind from each other, but only just barely, just enough to look each other in the eyes and speak to each other with sincerity. Kihyun's hands drop down to rest on Hoseok's shoulders while Hoseok's drop down to grip Kihyun's waist, lightly. Their height difference is quite minimal, but it's there, and it's especially noticeable right now, with Kihyun looking up at Hoseok, his protector, and Hoseok looking down at Kihyun, his baby. 

They don't speak for a few more seconds, their eyes darting around each other's faces in wonder, before settling again, and it's Kihyun who finally breaks the silence. 

"I'm sorry," he says, quietly, his eyes still wet and shining like stars. 

"Kihyunnie, it's alright." Hoseok murmurs, rubbing his hands up and down on Kihyun's waist. 

"No, really," Kihyun continues, squeezing Hoseok's shoulders gently and looking sad and remorseful. "I overreacted. I'm so sorry." 

"And _really_ , it's alright," Hoseok says with a small chuckle, gently squeezing Kihyun's waist in return. "I'm sorry too. I know your feelings, I know it's a sensitive issue for you. I shouldn't have been so forthright, I should've heard all you had to say first. I just get so worried when you start talking about yourself like that." 

He leans forward until their foreheads are touching, moving his arms up from Kihyun's waist to wrap around his back and pull him in close again, and both of their eyes slip closed. They're speaking against each other's mouths now, their lips just barely touching and Changkyun can't help but blush a little at how romantic it is, again feeling guilty, like he's intruding on something not meant for him or anyone else. He curls a little tighter into his blanket out of reflex, but neither of them seem to notice. 

"You know why I got so upset. You know it's because I care, right?" Hoseok hums, brushing his nose against Kihyun's and giving Kihyun butterfly kisses along his cheeks. 

"I know," Kihyun says with a soft exhale, a pretty pink splashing across his face. 

"We'll talk it through, okay?" Hoseok whispers, leaning back to look into Kihyun's eyes again. "We'll figure it out." 

He finally removes his hands from around Kihyun's body and brings them up to cup Kihyun's face, tilts Kihyun's head upward to look at him and rubs his thumbs over Kihyun's tear-stained pink cheeks, Kihyun's hands falling down to Hoseok's sides. It's such a sweet gesture, and Changkyun really feels guilty now for witnessing this without their knowledge, but what can he do? He's certainly not going to reveal himself now and ruin this moment. 

As they stand there, looking at each other so lovestruck in the stillness of the quiet, empty dorm, Changkyun thinks that for sure they're about to kiss, that Hoseok is about to lean down and capture Kihyun's lips, and Changkyun will have to shut his eyes and count backwards from one-hundred, pretend like he's not here and fully awake and watching all of this unfold; he's willing to play unconscious for the sake of letting them have their special moment. 

But instead, Hoseok leans down and kisses the tip of Kihyun's nose, light like a snowflake, then moves up to kiss his forehead, Kihyun closing his eyes again and scrunching up his nose, the blush on his cheeks going deeper and his mouth falling open at the gentle touch of Hoseok's lips. 

Hoseok leans back again and looks at Kihyun with a warm smile, lowering his hands from Kihyun's cheeks to rest on his waist again while Kihyun's return to Hoseok's shoulders. Changkyun sees a glimmer of something flash through Kihyun's eyes; he's not quite sure what it is, but Kihyun is suddenly gripping onto Hoseok's shoulders for support, standing on his toes, and whispering something into Hoseok's ear. 

And Changkyun watches with fascination as Hoseok listens attentively, his face soft and fond and happy, until suddenly, his face goes bright red, all the way down his neck and to the tips of his ears, and his eyes go wide at whatever Kihyun's saying as he lets out a surprised laugh. 

Kihyun pulls back and Changkyun can see that gleam still in his eyes as he drops his hands from Hoseok's shoulders to take one of Hoseok's hands into one of his own, leading them both back towards one of the bedrooms. Hoseok looks giddy and suddenly can't stop smiling as he follows Kihyun and the two of them disappear from Changkyun's sight, leaving Changkyun alone again with his thoughts. He lets out a sigh of relief and uncurls, only realizing now that he had been tense all over, trying his best not to move or make a sound while the lovebirds were reconciling in front of him. 

Changkyun's scientist father, to whom he owes much of the credit for the unusual, rich, worldly life he's lived, had always taught him to think like a scientist, to look at things rationally and based on objective reality. But when Changkyun looks at Kihyun and Hoseok, it really seems like they were made for each other in a cosmic way, like the universe itself wanted them to be together, like they were always meant to find each other and to fall into each other's arms throughout all of life's most significant moments. The good, the bad, all of it was meant for them to experience together. 

When Changkyun looks at Kihyun and Hoseok, he thinks he might, even for just a moment, understand why people believe in soulmates.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on twitter @justiceforkiho


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